And It Was Like If I Stepped Into The Shoes Of The "other Me", The Thirst For Knowledge Was Deep, From Divination To Incantation Hentai AI Porn
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View This StyleDay 62, continuation: I'm glad I didn't use up all the free credits / tokens in all at once, since now I can share what happened later in the day. I did go to my parents place, they weren't there since they were in the farmhouse, which is more than 70 miles away from their place. So I went to their place to sort out as much as I could, and I did sort out 5 bags of stuff that I have no chance of using ever again, I did tidy up the place a bit, enough to make a, I did feel fine, but it took me enough time that I was riding back to my place during sunset, and that's where the magick happened. Quick backstory, during I was very heavily invested in spirituality, so much so that I joined a couple of different groups and quickly gathered every piece of knowledge from whoever I could. Such a rush of information gave me a chance to compare what different sources were claiming while it was still fresh in my mind, and what I came to was that 90% of it was based on belief. In search of what 'works' I've stumbled upon psionics, and my life was never the same ever since, the thirst for knowledge was deep, making me read about a wide range of subjects, from organizational management via neurocognition to quantum physics and philosophy, but this didn't end with just theory, I went eyeballs deep. I've practiced close to every method I found, and every which I thought made sense or had evaluative value, where positive or negative results provided qualitative gain. So I practiced, from black magick to shamanism, from divination to incantation, from spiritual healing to telekinesis, and I did have my own results. I already had deep intuition, so this shift from "feeling what's not tangible" to "manipulating what's not tangible" was a smooth transition, at some point I've noticed that so-called active psi wasn't that beneficial, and that so-called passive psi was promising far more benefits, so I've practiced telepathy, AP, clairvoyance and precognition. Even if I had many good results after practicing so-called passive psi, I felt like a puppet on strings, not in control of my own life and always nudged in some direction, which outcome was unknown to me, even if the results were positive in a sum game, where sometimes I gained more, sometimes I played the supporting role for someone's else's gains, the uncertainty was heavily weighting on my shoulders, so I stopped practicing it, regaining the sense of being my own person, with my own free will, where I could blame my own self for my mistakes and pat myself on the back for all the achievements, I couldn't do that if I was acting like a cog in a bigger mechanism, I couldn't be sure that the successes were of my doing or someone's else's design, or that if my pitfalls were of my own lacks or someone's else's negligence, in terms of "being in the right place at the right time". Even so, I still developed a sense of "out there", similar to being in two places at the same time, FPS games or RPG games 'might' be the closest to describe how it feels to a layman, but the FPS / RPG characters are not self-aware, self-governing and self-autonomous, so the comparison doesn't hit bullseye, only the edge of the target. I had a number of experiences where I felt 'more' than I am, it was like if I was looking via my own physical eyes, but at the same time the overlay of seeing myself from above / back of my head, like if I was standing behind and above myself, making me feel both my own thoughts and the thoughts of the other observer, these were one of the most significant experiences I had. One time during some experiments with altered states of consciousness, I recorded myself, and it was like if I stepped into the shoes of the "other me", the was like night and day, I KNEW things I could have never know in my life, I FELT things I could never feel, it was like if a k1dd0 got VR glasses and saw, and felt, memories of a, with the joy of getting married, having first offspring, the worry about the future, working day-in-day-out to provide food on the table, the worry after the offspring goes to college, the joy of their success, the loneliness of an empty house after a funeral... It felt like that, there was way too much to grasp and way to fast to absorb any of it... I still, to this day, remember it, and how deep of an impact it had on me. Whoever is reading this may not understand the significance of it unless you, the reader, experienced something similar, otherwise it's like imagining how does it feel where what you have worked for a decade is taken away from you, not because you have lacked effort, but because you have put too much effort into it, where you would gain what you seek with lacking effort, if only you'd wait for it those few more ... I know how it feels, I experienced it, but did you, reader? This is going long enough, next entry is going to be the one that'll contain what I've experienced today.
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